The Two Parent Advantage

Is there a two-parent advantage?

An economist has recently published a book that has created an online firestorm of argument back and forth. Melissa Kearney, a professor at the University of Maryland, has published, “The Two-Parent Privilege.” 

This is such a no-brainer. If you have two parents they have more money, more time, double the unique gifts each parent brings to the children, and—what is often overlooked—the unique perspective of male and female brought to bear on children. Of course this is an advantage and a privilege for a child. God created the human family. Male and female created He them. It was his intention that a child have two parents, one a man and one a woman. Deviating from that is catastrophic.

I need to insert here that not all of my listeners had the privilege of growing up with their mom and dad. And some of you are single parents and you are heroically doing God’s work in raising your children. It was not your plan to be a single parent but the tragedies of life foisted it upon you. My heart and prayers go out to you. Sometimes children from single parent homes turn out better than kids from intact homes. May the Lord prosper you and bless you in whatever situation you find yourself. But I am sure all of you would agree. A child is generally better off being raised by both parents.

In the 1950s, fewer than 5 percent of babies in this country were born to unmarried mothers. Today, nearly half of all babies in America are born to unmarried mothers.

Why do we even have to raise this point? Why do we even have to have research to prove this?   Because the cult of the Progressive/Left believes a host of false doctrines that are stupid beyond description and here we have one more. Left wing academics will stand in the classroom and write papers asserting kids are just as well off with one parent. Or being raised in a commune—a village if you will. Or that two male parents or two female parents are just as effective as the traditional family. This is all part of Karl Marx’ attack on the family and I have chronicled the Left’s hatred of the family and children elsewhere. This is more of the same.

I used to ask my students at Colorado Christian how many came from intact families? Usually about 70% would raise their hands. And then I said to them, “I used to take this poll when I was a prof at the University of Colorado. How many of them raised their hands?” My CCU students would guess that it is far less. But as I told them, it was not. It was about the same. CU is an expensive, competitive university. Being from an intact family gives you a significant advantage in being qualified to get in and affording it once you are.

What specifically is Kearney saying? We hear a lot these days about privilege. White privilege, male privilege, etc. She says the ultimate privilege is growing up with two parents. I asked one of my black children if he had less privilege than a white kid living in Appalachia with a single mom. He laughed. He knew the answer. He has become a fine young man if I do say so myself. And in the providence of God a large part of that was growing up with a mom and dad who brought different gifts to bear upon his life.

Kearney marshals an elaborate array of statistics to prove her point. She shows that the odds of graduating high school, getting a college degree, and having high earnings in adulthood are substantially lower for children who grow up in a single-mother home. Kids in single-mother homes are five times more likely to live in poverty than two parent. 

Kay Hymowitz, reviewing Kearney’s book in City Journal says, “It’s not because it breaks new ground. Kearney’s book is a summary and synthesis—first-rate summary and synthesis, to be sure—of decades of research on the benefits of a childhood spent with both parents.”

Kearney makes another important point. Isn’t cohabitation almost as good for children as marriage. Not it’s not. “In the U.S., cohabiting relationships are fleeting and frequently sequential.” Kearney notes that American children are likely to experience two or three parental partnerships by age 15.

One time I got into hot water when I was teaching at a community college in my area. We were having a discussion about cohabitation. Out of the thirty students in the class six were women who along with their child were living with men—sometimes the father, sometimes not. I made the statement, “Isn’t the purpose of living together just to make divorce easier.” They got very angry. I was making an obvious point that is surely right but it upset a lot of my students.

Kearney makes another interesting and important point that surprised me and I still don’t understand.. The differences between single and two parent homes is almost entirely related to social class. Children whose mothers don’t have a college degree are more than twice as likely—compared to the children of college-educated mothers—to live in a single parent home. A college educated woman is far less likely to have a child out of wedlock and raise children out of wedlock than a non-college educated woman. I would love to hear your reasons for why you think this is. Please put them in the comment section below.

In his review of this book Bradford Wilcox of the Institute for Family Studies observes that there is a massive political divide on this issue. Conservatives are two to three times more likely than liberals to think children are better off if they have two married parents.

Kearney concludes with what for many is a startling conclusion: “We should be clear-eyed about the reality….Parents affect their children’s lives and shape their outcomes in ways that government cannot fully make up for.” 

Imagine. Government cannot replace parents. Who’d a thunk it.

Thanks for listening. May the Lord bless you and your family.

More: Why the Left Hates Children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuu7m9YRFX8

World Magazine’s review of Melissa Kearney’s research: https://wng.org/articles/single-parent-math-1704948465?mkt_tok=NzEwLVFSUi0yMDkAAAGQ_9EP6vL9LySxjyViKgt8UGWeh18fqBLnZ4EyOh2J9lpGo_iyX-iZR3oDrMlUIvYBsxdBOfdhzTlSp94jxl508sOEfWzFQnXosp661uVQFYoI

Bari Weiss of the Free Press on the same issue: https://www.thefp.com/p/why-two-parents-are-the-ultimate-privilege?utm_campaign=email-post&r=ljoms&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

Bradford Wilcox in City Journal: https://www.city-journal.org/article/the-two-parent-advantage

Kay Hymowitz in City Journal reviews Melissa Kearney: https://www.city-journal.org/article/review-of-the-two-parent-privilege-by-melissa-kearney

Mary Eberstadt needs to be read again at this point—the violence we see on our streets can be attributed to children grown up without a father: https://www.firstthings.com/article/2020/12/the-fury-of-the-fatherless